Playful People

The last few months have been proper confusing for me. It’s amazing but my likes and dislikes are changing right in front of my face! I mean there’s a difference between liking the idea of something and actually liking it itself. I’ve always liked the idea of praying but I never used to like doing it – but I’m starting to actually look forward to it! Aaaaaagggghhhhh! What’s happening – I’m turning into one of them MOSLEM type people!

But it’s soooo true. If your thinking is right, your feelings will follow. I think I’m in some transitional stage where my feelings are still way behind my thinking. Anyway, one BIG example of that are BOYS. I used to like mashed boys! The more mashed they were, the more I liked them (liked being with them but I never really liked them, I guess).

Anyway, now there’s this bro at Uni who I see in the canteen. He’s always talking to non-Muslims and even Muslims about Islam and I can hear him talking if I sit close enough. He’s really funny too and he’s so good at making the non-Muslims feel relaxed and laugh even at tense moments. Plus he doesn’t shy away from the controversial issues. I’ve heard him discussing about how you can know God exists, he talks about the four marriage thing and the different types of punishments and everything. But he has this way of making it all make sense only if all the Islamic rulings are put in their right context.

He's exactly what Tony Blair would describe as an extremist coz I’ve heard him talking about khilafah too. He was talking about how the khilafah has this amazing system to solve the poverty epidemic all around the world. I can’t remember how he explained it but I remember it made so much sense at the time. He’s like no other guy I’ve met before. He doesn’t look Islamic AT ALL but he sounds so knowledgeable and passionate about it – which makes up for it, I guess. Heehee.

I’m giggling now so I might as well say it – I like him! But I don’t know what to do about it. He’s probably noticed that I’m always sitting on the table near enough to him to hear him talking and it’s so embarrassing but I can’t find anyone else that can explain things like him. I’ve never seen him talking to a girl before. If I spoke to him would he say: “Astagfirullaaaaaaaaaaaah you mashed girl, get out of my face”.

And then he might think I just want to cause FITNA in his life, like the guy who does the speech at Jumma says. He always saying women are FITNA and even though I don’t know what that means exactly, I know from the tone of his voice, it’s definitely not a good thing. Hmm…

Oh well, I remain lonely and confused as ever before.